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Let me tell you a true story of a boy who was named after a historical and mythical hero. His name is Lance David.
True to his name, he loves to rescue children in distress. He takes it upon himself to help. For a very young toddler, he has a take –charge personality.
When a little girl drops her materials on the floor, Lance helps pick up the pieces in a beat. A three-year old wails and asks for his milk. Lance scampers to get the milk bottle. When I stoop to instruct a little child, Lance comes to me with a stool to make me sit down.
What is more special about Lance is not only the daily joyful heroic acts he does but the fact that he was only one and a half years old when he started doing such compassionate deeds.
Lance is actually my little nephew and god-child. From birth, I advised his mother how to train Lance so that he will have the best beginning. This will aid him to spring forth in a series of successes in his life.
Even when he was just a few months old, we talked to Lance in a straight forward manner. No baby talk. His environment was prepared so that he will develop his motor skills easily. To the surprise of his pediatrician, he walked before he should walk and talked before he should talk. He loved taking his syrupy medicines (that do not really taste good) and never struggled even when he took his vaccines.
Communicating to Lance was always a conscious positive series of pronunciations. In other words, talking to him in “brave” terms constantly boosted his developing ego. He was not “babied” like other children who are barraged with so many non-sensical talk and sweet yet silly excesses of words that make a child wimpy and bratty.
He is definitely showered with a lot of loving affirmations which he consequently bounces back to his benevolent family members. His language is peppered with “love you’s” and “I can do it.”
Even when he was barely two years old, he was always told that he is a big boy, a good boy. This predisposed him to have that big boy mentality. It is very endearing to see him initiate to help children even older than he is. He thinks he is bigger than he actually is. When he was first enrolled in my school at the tender age of 1.5 years old, some adults mistook him for a short three-year old when. He was mature for his age.
Before Lance turned two, I told him that he was old enough to wear his own clothes. Lance looked at me disbelievingly and replied, “Who me?” “Yes you!” I answered. He obediently walked to his drawers, pulled it open and got his choice of shirt and shorts. From that day on, he developed the habit of choosing what his daily wardrobe would be. He dressed himself competently. Practicing his own choices taught him to discern proper color schemes. He began to tell his mom the right thing to wear or the right shoes to match her business attire.
He is every caregiver’s dream child. Because he can control his body and behave responsibly, his nanny has a lot of time to do other chores in the home. He loves to supervise his yaya work in the kitchen. He also tells his yaya what he likes to eat.
When his nanny failed to make a grocery list and his mom asked what was needed to be purchased, Lance initiated to tell his mom all the things he needed which was already out of stock in their home. They walked up and down the grocery aisles as Lance systematically pointed out his need for milk, diapers, tissue, juice, snack, and the wide array of needs and wants of a toddler. Knowing that his nanny can be forgetful, he also keeps the last piece of wrapper of a favorite snack to show and remind his mom that she should buy some more.
When his mom got lost in a tricky narrow side street, his mom told her passenger -son, “O-oh we are lost. I need help.” Lance, who was two-years old then, held his mom’s right hand to reassure and comfort her. As his mom continued to drive on, Lance commented, “I’m sorry I don’t know where to go too.”
As you are, so your child will BE. Be the best and your child will BE the BEst s/he can be.
Any visitor who walks into Lance’s home will be received warmly by this little gracious host. He will set the table for you and hold your hand to guide you to sit down. He will tell his nanny to prepare a glass of juice for you.
Once when I visited them with terrible colds, I fell asleep on the bed. Unlike other hyper and self-centered children who would nag me to play with them, Lance looked at me compassionately, put a box of tissue beside me, and put a blanket over me. When I woke up after an hour, Lance came right in front of my face smiling to see how I was. He gave me a glass of water and handed me a tissue after I sneezed. I didn’t’ need to ask anything. He knew what I needed.
We trained him to serve and be sensitive to others’ needs and defied the popular Freudian faulty child psychology.
After going to church over the weekend, he called the attention of a nanny beside him who was not looking at her infant ward. The little infant was drinking from his milk bottle which spilled all over his face. Lance sternly held the face of the nanny towards the baby and said,” Hey, watch the baby!” The baby’s parents looked at Lance appreciatively.
Lance’s keen observation is based on the Preppi and Montessori training he learns Preppi School that I founded in 2001.
At the age of 3, Lance continually professed that he is an independent big boy. He thinks “BIG!” and easily weans to independence.
Upon his insistence, he invited his mom to pretend play with him by switching roles. His mom willingly acceded. She plopped herself on the bed and pretended to cry. Lance got a glass of milk and gave it to his “baby-mom”. Then he proceeded to gently massage his “baby-mom’s” head. His mom then asked if she can be carried. “I’m still small,” was Lance wise retort. “But you said you are already a big boy,” his mom countered. “Ok,” Lance agreed and they both stood up. He heaved and sighed attempting to carry his mom. After a few seconds, he resigned. “It’s hard to be a mom. I want to be a boy again. But when I grow up I will work so you can rest.” What an unusual yet wonderful insight from a three-year old.
Lance is raised by a single mom. His mother made a wise decision early on to train Lance in a way that is not burdensome to anybody.
Babies are indeed adorable but with the lack of help or proper insight in caring for these helpless and demanding tykes, the daily tasks may be burdensome to a lot of folks.
Lance is predisposed to be obedient, cooperative and helpful because he was prepared and trained that way.
Babies who are babied too much become a burden as they grow up. For babies to be blessings all the way, bless them with good and wise training.
Even before they mature into adults, they will bless you back with their joyful obedience and helpfulness.
“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
To date (2017), Lance is now a teenager. He has consistently surpassed his academic requirements, continues to excel in academics, extra-curricular and daily practical life. Earning awards is just part of his everyday task of excelling. His daily motivation is to BE the BEST version of himself as he blesses others.
This article was originally published in 2003 Manila Bulletin International. It was revised in 2017 for MyLilTeacher.com